This is good news. I mean what with Iran about to go nuclear, the US dollar slumped, the record breaking price of oil , global warming, floods and earthquakes et all - now Dubai is going to have a tall skyscraper that dynamically changes shape – by rotation of all the floors. That will really bring a smile to a lot of faces – and alleviate heaps of suffering.
Let’s just picture this. The sales pitch will be “Every apartment will now overlook the beach, the lake, the jungle on the mountain (artificial one being built, complete with robot orangutans and plastic coconuts) and the complex swimming pool , each for 4.2 hours in a day. “
You can throw away your clothes dryer. Merely hanging the clothes outside – and them traversing thru the wind @ 4.456 km/hr will dry them in a single rotation of your floor (blankets and carpets may take a couple more).
The core of the building will have a hollow tube shaft running top to bottom – just like a lift shaft. This will be regularly filled with whole black peppers – which will automatically be ground during the rotation of the various floors. Each apartment kitchen will receive a feed of freshly ground black pepper 24 x 7 x 365.
The management had earlier considered grinding coffee beans at first, but the marketing research company came up with the logical line – “Not everyone drinks coffee, but everyone eats pepper”. Ta-dah!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
New Generation Viruses
Nowadays we need to be careful. Anything that works on a battery or that connects to electricity can be attacked by viruses. Things sure have changed. A virus earlier meant something that happened to living beings – plants, people and animals - but now it can happen to non living things as well.
Ranjeet our cook is convinced that our microwave now has a virus. The darn thing has cracked three of our glass platters in the past week alone. Very mysterious. The wife says these platters were used in the microwave hundreds of times before – and now – beep beep – whirr – CRAA-ACK – beep, seems that the new virus in the microwave has razor sharp karate skills.
The microwave sits on the counter right next to the toaster – and its likely the toaster has been infected too. This particular model has a dial which you turn to select how light or dark you want your toast. That virus turns the dial to Maximum Dark by itself. Very strange. I can now eat half of my toast in one bite by collecting the black crumbs in a soup spoon.
These two viruses are no doubt perplexing. But the most sinister virus is the one that has afflicted the remote control unit of my satellite receiver. This morning I could not switch on the unit. I thought the batteries were weak, so moved closer – practically touching the remote control to the receiver, but nope, it didn’t work. Upon inspecting the batteries in the battery compartment – I noticed that the batteries were inserted incorrectly – that is - with incorrect polarity. That bloody virus again!
The cook and the kids are very lucky. Their employer / dad (ME!) is very computer savvy. He understands things like viruses. Any other father would never have considered a virus to be the cause, and would likely put forward more traditional theories on why these sort of things happen…
Ranjeet our cook is convinced that our microwave now has a virus. The darn thing has cracked three of our glass platters in the past week alone. Very mysterious. The wife says these platters were used in the microwave hundreds of times before – and now – beep beep – whirr – CRAA-ACK – beep, seems that the new virus in the microwave has razor sharp karate skills.
The microwave sits on the counter right next to the toaster – and its likely the toaster has been infected too. This particular model has a dial which you turn to select how light or dark you want your toast. That virus turns the dial to Maximum Dark by itself. Very strange. I can now eat half of my toast in one bite by collecting the black crumbs in a soup spoon.
These two viruses are no doubt perplexing. But the most sinister virus is the one that has afflicted the remote control unit of my satellite receiver. This morning I could not switch on the unit. I thought the batteries were weak, so moved closer – practically touching the remote control to the receiver, but nope, it didn’t work. Upon inspecting the batteries in the battery compartment – I noticed that the batteries were inserted incorrectly – that is - with incorrect polarity. That bloody virus again!
The cook and the kids are very lucky. Their employer / dad (ME!) is very computer savvy. He understands things like viruses. Any other father would never have considered a virus to be the cause, and would likely put forward more traditional theories on why these sort of things happen…
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Lord Oracle smiles again
Greeting fellow Earth mongers...
The Oracle hath spoken..I received a call from HR and yes - in a day or two they will transfer the "frozen" salary into my humble account...
These funds will ofcourse merely transit thru that account, just long enough to register on a bank statement - then will reach their rightful owners - my Landlord (whose Supremacy and Greatness these days shadows even that of Lord Oracle's...) , DEWA (Dubai Electric and Water Authority for those who are ignorant of Dubai's institutions), Lootah BC Gas, Etisalat and several others...
Well - I am glad to have it - if only to be able to pass it on...
Viva Dubai !
The Oracle hath spoken..I received a call from HR and yes - in a day or two they will transfer the "frozen" salary into my humble account...
These funds will ofcourse merely transit thru that account, just long enough to register on a bank statement - then will reach their rightful owners - my Landlord (whose Supremacy and Greatness these days shadows even that of Lord Oracle's...) , DEWA (Dubai Electric and Water Authority for those who are ignorant of Dubai's institutions), Lootah BC Gas, Etisalat and several others...
Well - I am glad to have it - if only to be able to pass it on...
Viva Dubai !
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Lord Oracle is still angry
Well was told by HR today that there is a "great difficulty" to appease Lord Oracle into agreeing to release my salary. I may just have to end up waiting till next month - and get two (2) salaries instead. Hmmm...am wondering if the logic in Lord Oracle's head can handle processing two salaries in the same month...it may just trip another flag in the system that says "Whoa! Two salaries? No way. STOP. So then I will be in the hole for two months !! Lets see what happens in the next day or so.
Cheers.
Cheers.
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